Knowing when and how to say "no" is a constant battle for many people. In our Malaysian community we always try to please other people and often puts us in a situation where we just dont know how to say NO. Many associate this kind of situation as being polite or maybe sometimes as being humble. But if we really think about it, it has got nothing to do with being polite or humble. Saying NO is just another choice that you have to make in life. Maybe it is a matter of how you say it so that you would not end up hurting the other party.
This becomes especially difficult for business professionals or even politicians who are looking to please and impress higher-ups. Almost from birth, the world has conditioned us to do what others ask without question for any number of reasons. We, too often, get pushed and pulled in all sorts of awkward directions that had not been on our intended agenda due to the inability to confidently speak that singular two-letter word.
Why do we allow ourselves to be ruled by people or things that make us uncomfortable? Does going the extra mile for that prospect result in cognitive progress in regards to your own morals? Is the undue stress caused by bending over backward for an overbearing manager worth the possible reward? What value does inviting such negativity into our lives really afford us?
Just say "NO".
Saying "no" is a very reasonable response to any request no matter how big or small. If you can't do what is being asked or even just don't want to, it is truly okay to say "no". No further explanation is required. The fact that you don't want to is more than enough reason. If you are a person that has trouble saying "no" outright then respond by saying "I'll consider it and get back to you". This is alright too. It is much better to give no commitment at all than to commit to something you didn't want to do in the first place. Mastering the art of delegation is another way to lessen the burden of being so agreeable. Don't be afraid to request help from others of similar competence. By delegating tasks that you are either unwilling or unable to perform, you can focus your attention on matters that are more pressing or important to you.
There is so much additional stress that develops when a person attempts to perform a task unwillingly. Think about times when you have worked at something you truly enjoyed. How easy was it for you to complete the task successfully? Now think about a time when you have agreed to a task that was not really your cup of tea but you just couldn't say "no". Did you give the task your complete 100%? Was the task completed and completed on schedule? How did you feel during the process?
Saying "no" firmly and asserting your position can give you power beyond your wildest dreams. Speaking "no" is to overcome your fear of rejection. It is to embrace independence. It is to get in touch with your true values. What do you stand for? How do you want to live your day? Saying "no" gives you back the control over how and with whom your time and energy is spent.
So where does one begin? By just learning and choosing the positive power of saying "NO".
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3 comments:
Hi Mahadi..
Ape cerita? Got linked to this blog thru friendster. It's nice to finally read what's on your mind.
Kau kt ne skarang?
it has always been a major problem with me. I found it very hard to say NO most of the time. I can take a NO from people in a stride but I feel obliged when people ask anything from me.
I always feel bad whenever I say NO to my friends. I would do whatever is possible for me to do to make it a YES.
And I don't say "let me think of it first" if I already know the answer is going to be NO. I hate it when people do that to me so I try not to do the same thing to others. mcm bagi harapan palsu pulak.
I'm still teaching myself not to feel bad whenever i say NO.
aku salah seorang yang tak pandai nak say NO. how aaa?
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